Uncertainties?Why me?Why now?

For the past few days, there has been so many uncertainties occurred in my life. some are settled, some are not. but i don't know why god wants me to see something that broke my heart into pieces, something that i never expect it to happen, something that seems like stabbing myself with a knife right into my heart, something that made me so so sad...

Oh my, what will happen for the next few days?

The day of emptiness

The day of emptiness started with a bad day. this morning, the security at the train station slept and didn't realise it was time to open the gate for customer at lrt station. it was 6am. but lucky of me, manage to catch a bus once reach pasar seni. didn't do much at work, came home, waited 1 hour for bus to go swimming, got frust, changed plan to jogging....then dinner, thought of trying new stall, but the cook was idiot. he used back yesterday's rice and cook fried rice for me, the rice was so hard.

It was my mistake all along...i'm sorry...

Since the very beginning, i was wrong. i shouldn't be that way. i didn't realise. i was too naive. i thought i was right, but i was not.

in a good and everlasting relationship, one should learn to trust each other. there shouldn't be any doubt on another party. for me, i trust u. i have no doubt in u. i believe that u will never cheat me. but my move to check on u, was a real mistake. i was too controlling on u, and i always wanted it my way.

i had been so kampung minded. i thought by giving u everything will make u happy. but i didn't realise that it is not everything that u want. it is freedom, own time that u needed all along. i was too stubborn and stupid to sense it earlier that i was wrong. i know surely u r suffering as to being tied up for such a long time.

i don't blame u for any of ur decision made. i am willing to change for u, but if u think that i am not worth a person to stay on with, i won't blame u. it was my fault, at the very beginning.

i will be very glad if u r able to give me another chance. i am regretted over what i've done, for so many years, without realising. i felt i am a fool. a fool, clown that has no agenda, but only brings trouble to other people around me.

please forgive me for my foolish attitude, stupid and stubborn character. i know it might be too late to realise my mistake, and u may not even want to give me another chance, but all i want to do is to seek forgiveness from u. i am sorry and i really mean it...

Should I consider myself as lucky? or unlucky?

I was driving the company car back to office after attending a course in HQ. Seeing the fuel meter remaining only 1 bar, I decided to head to Shell kiosk at Damansara. I pump diesel until the tank was full. Then I start the engine. Oh my god, it wouldn't start. I was so scared, checking back whether I pumped petrol or diesel. Imagine what will happen if you've pumped petrol into a diesel vehicle, and it is a company car! But thank God I pump diesel. But still it wouldn't start eventhough I've tried many times.
So i called for backup. I asked for help from the pump attendant to push the vehicle to the side so as not to block the pump unit. 1 hour later, the mechanic came, and identified the problem. It was due to the immobilizer malfunction. According to him, usually an old Ford Ranger will have this kind of problem, especially when the engine gets heated up. The circuit will have some problem that triggers the device to be malfunction eventhough the key inserted was the original key!
He couldn't help much, So he called for a tow truck. Waited another 1 hour for the tow truck to come.
Basically I spent whole morning in HQ and whole afternoon waiting for the mechanic and tow truck to come. So you tell me, am I lucky or unlucky?

Moody...why is this happenning to me? Did I do anything wrong?

Since yesterday, I don't really have mood to eat. Well, obviously it was due to certain reasons that made me very sad. I had roti canai for breakfast for yesterday, non for lunch and another roti canai for dinner. Today, it was better as i had fried mee for breakfast, non for lunch and only milo for dinner....

Final semester's final exam, for the final time, in UNITEN...

well, yes...from the title itself you can imagine what i will talk about in this blog. today is my first paper of final exam for my final semester, for the final time for me to sit for the exam in UNITEN. time flies so fast. 5 years is like just a blink of an eye.
now is 12.09pm, approximately 2 hours and 21 minutes more, i will start my first exam, which is specialised taxation. lots of feeling is filling up myself, anxious, nervious, scare, etc. could not really concentrate on the studying part, so i ended up writing blog.
among all the papers that i took for my final semester, all of them are very tough, yes, very tough, and i really mean it. perhaps it is the highest level of a degree in accountancy. but studies shall never stop there. there is still more to go, i.e. ACCA, CIMA, MICPA...
i do not think i can do for professional papers, but i will try. hmm...
before going further on, i better get back myself in the real world, which is the final exam that i will be facing in 2 hours time.
well, here i wish all of my friends GOOD LUCK for your final exam papers...
ALL THE BEST!!!

Life will never end without suffering...

it has been few days since the guy's apartment are down with water supply cutted!!! imagine we have to wake up as early as 6.30am, and rush to the campus's toilets to bath before it gets crowded. well, it was worse than National Services days. back then, we had plenty of water. but now, in order to get water, we have to go all the way to campus to bath. well, those who does not own transport are the most pitiest person then. but i guess it was their 'best' experiences throughout the life in Muadzam Shah. just in case you forget, guys' apartment had a water cut during my foundation time. we survive with only 1 pail of water for nearly 2 days. but this time it was bad, from sunday till Wednesday. it was really like a torture.

Final Year...Final Semester....

in just a blink of eye, we are all in the final semester of our studies. time really flies so fast till we do not realise it. the first thing i remember when i reach here was a place full of trees and grasses, and the irony part is that, there is a university located right in the centre of it.

the first year, or rather the first semester was very hard to go through, as everything seems to be very slow; internet, cars, buses, time. but as time past, i realised there are many things changed. many of my friends graduated and are now working with big and well-known companies.

friends come and go, lecturers comes and go away. 5 years, past so fast. had a mix feeling, not sure what it is. not sure if i miss this land of knowledge, or sad to leave a student's life. perhaps both. people may say that there should be nothing to miss about the land of our university. but after being 5 years here, i have seen many changes to the town. last time, buildings can be counted using only fingers. not they are countless. many new buildings built to accommodate the people of the local and also for the visitors who passes by.

well, 5 years are gone. what is about to happen in future?

Busy with assignments...

oh God, these days so busy with assignments, projects and presentations...

Accounting Symposium 2009

based on my past experience in being a committee of the organizing committee in a event, i shouldn't not be facing alot of problems. but for this accounting symposium, i was blur, numb at one time and i did not know what to do.

being the head of a tiny little part in the symposium is a hassle to me, though it is small. handling students from other universities, coming from all over the places. arrangement for their accommodation and also transportation are no longer easy as we think.

i do appreciate the help, effort and cooperation given by my team members. some are good in providing help whenever i need, and some will just dissappear when there is new task to be deliver to them. from here, i can see all kinds of people at my batch. i had experiences working with others, some are younger and some are older than me. but at this symposium, we are working in the same batch of students.

for those who really work hard, i really thank you for all your effort. for those who ran away after the symposium, i do appreaciate your help even when you never turn up after symposium. and for those who did no work at all, i assume, thanks for staying away from me. i ask you to make confirmation but you make so much noise and complaints. well, thanks for the effort of staying away. and you couldn't be bothered to ask for your task.

from my point of view, it is not advisable to work with people of the same batch as you. take my words, you will suffer!!!

it is very hard to order your friends to do work, and when they complaint much on the work load, you cannot give them more work. therefore, all in all, i have to do most of the things myself.

my objective is to let my teammates fo work only on the day of symposium. i wouldn't want them to suffer even before the event day. i prefer to do it all by myself so as to show my appreciation to you all for putting the trust in me by choosing me as your leader. however, some which i consider as a good friend of mine take advantage of this.

well, i shouldn't be commenting so much on it, as i deserve to be punish in such a way that i did not manage the team well. i do success in controlling most of the team members, but some, i fail to do so. as i said, it is very hard to ask a friend to do work at your interest. if both having the same interest, then it would be fine.

when you told them that you will try to do all the things that are suppose to be settle and arrange before the event day, they will smile and be very happy. but i had make things very very clear that during and after the event, they have to help out in whatever i need them to do. but where are they? missing in action...

i take it as my faith for being their leader. hmm, but i do enjoy working with certain people which i never work before.

arrogant freshies

What is most important in being a human being? What is the most valuable value that should be in human being? I believe it should be respect. Respect can be in any form. If you respect a person, he or she would respect you back.
Let me tell you on a situation where there is no respect of juniors to seniors. Nowadays in universities level, students come in all forms and not to mention, all sizes. But let me emphasize you on the matter of respect here. Usually, the juniors or also known as the freshies of the university will come to university; register their name to get a place. When they are doing so, they are all a ‘good boy attitude’. They know how to respect people around. But that does not last forever! If I may, I would like to say that it only last for about a week or two, when they meet the seniors.
Theoretically, juniors are supposed to be afraid of seniors. But this is not the case in these few up-coming years. Juniors will start to erase their ‘good boy attitude’ when they are getting use to the place in their respective university. Well, not all are bad. But most of them changed from good to bad.
As a facilitator of the student’s new intake orientation for 2 consequence years, I had seen lots of changes in the juniors. They came in with a ‘good boy attitude’ written on their forehead, being nice to everyone, humble and if I may, some even become like a servant to the seniors. But that no longer serve to situation.
Juniors are taking seniors like a good friend. Well, you might be asking what is wrong being good friend. Yes, there is a problem when seniors and juniors become friends. The juniors will slowly forget about respects! Can you imagine of being treated like a normal person, which sometimes the juniors take you for granted with whatever things that you possess.
I have a friend. Well, I take him as a friend. He was involved with the student’s representative council. He did not have any transports, and still do not have now. Often he asked me to send him for his program with my car. At first I was alright with it, but slowly, he gets too comfortable with the ‘luxury’ life style he’s having, or should I say the style that I’m having!
He started to ask me for a ride more frequently as if my car is his car. Then I start to wonder, when I was involve in student’s representative council, I do not have any car or any mode of transportation, only a bicycle which does not bring me very far especially at night. So how do I go about? I ask my friends who are involve with the same program to fetch me. This will not bring any trouble to the person who is sending me as he or she is also involves in the event and need to be there. So, I just car pool. But in this guy’s case, he didn’t. I’m not sure why, but he claimed that no one else he can find to fetch. In short run, I pity him. But in long run? It is an excuse for easy way out. It is very easy for everyone to just say they can’t do it, so could you help me through. If I can ask my friends who are involve in the same program as me, so why can’t him? It is very impossible for a program to be handling by only few people of less than 3 or 4. Usually it is handling by nearly 30 to 40 people. So how could it be possible to say that there is no one that is attending the event that can fetch him? Why I can do it last time, why can’t him? Can I conclude that he is lazy to find out whose car is vacant? Why need to trouble the person that does not involve at all in the program to fetch? Can’t he think wisely that is it troublesome for the sender?

Even that so, when he asked you to fetch him and you’ve agreed, he will think that you deserve to be his driver. Let me ask you all a simple question. What will you do when you asked someone to fetch you? Definitely you’ll get ready. But in this young man’s case, he asked the person to fetch him, and he still wants the person to wait for him. It is very shy for me if I trouble someone, and yet still want him to wait for me. As the person who asked help from friends to fetch us, we are supposed to be earlier than the person. This is manners! He kept claiming that he is older than me, but I think, though he is older, but he is not matured enough to think wisely. So what if he is older than me? Does he know anything about morality? Does he know anything about respect among human beings? Though he is senior to me by ages, but I’m senior to him by academic year. He is one year my junior in studies.
Recently, juniors started to come to our house. Since he became the student’s representative council member, he is so-called famous guy. All juniors of his own races have to bow to him. He is seems like a ‘taiko’ for his own race in this university. And the main problem starts here.
The juniors, all of his kind, came to our house for the first time at night. It was alright for me to live in a state of noisy even though I was about to sleep. Well, they should have a limit. But they did not know the limit, as my friend himself also some what lost his mind. Oh, by the way, I’m staying with this friend. Alright, back to the story. Because we did not possess any hangers for drying clothes, so we (members of the house) have decided that each one of us will take a chair for whatever purpose that we want. So I use it for hanging my clothes to dry. That night when the silly juniors came, they make a mess out of my clothes. I do understand if they do not have enough chairs to sit, so they can remove my clothes from the chair and hang it over the curtain, so there is an option for them. But guess what they did, they just push my clothes aside, and sit recklessly. Thank god I still can sleep with the noise made by them. When I wake up in the morning, I was so surprise that some of my clothes hanging on the chair had fall down on the floor. And the floor was slightly dirty. I wonder who is sitting on the chair last night. Was it a gigantic beast or a human being? Even my underwear that was hanging at the most top of the chair had dropped down on to the dirty floor. How do you feel when you are in my situation?
And tonight, as I’m typing this, they are here in our house for the second time, finding time to chat with my friend. And it was over the limit. Too much of noise. I was so tired today; thinking of getting a good rest, but those beasts came over and makes so much noise. My friend who is currently staying in the same room with me joins them in the noisy chatting at the living room. I do not want to create any problem, so I close the door and continue to sleep. And mind you, the time now is 3am!!! Who the hell on earth is not asleep at 3am? Only thief will be awake at this hour.
At approximately 2am, my roommate came into the room, taking some stuff, and making his was out of the room to the living room without closing the room door. The noise was unbearable!!! When he came in for the second time, I ask him to close the door, he just nodded. But as he walks out, he did not close the room door. Why is he so inconsiderate?

I couldn’t understand the peoples, especially youngsters. Why do they do things as they like and never think of other people? We all are university students, suppose to be educated. We had learnt in studies about ‘The Golden Rule’. It says that treat others as though you want them to treat you back in the same way. Well, youngsters… they are so selfish, arrogant, and never think for others.

Influenze A(H1N1) crisis...

Each and every university should update their students and staffs of the current situation and condition of the viral attack in the university, if any. Especially universities with probable cases of having the influenza. Universities that are not close down yet should update the students from time to time, perhaps daily, on whether the situation is getting better or worse. Students from those universities who are suspected and quarantine few students due to H1N1 disease, has been spreading alot kinds of rumours.But how true is that? which is true? Whom to believe? Therefore, I would suggest that the administrative or the authorities of the university should step forward to announce about the progess of the case.
Also, students who are so scared will surely wear a mask as a protection. However, I don't see the point of taking off the mask whenever they like to, even in the public. If they are so concern about their health, why do they take off the mask in the class? No doubt that precaution is better than cure, but they should have wear it all the time when in public, such as in classes. Well, all I can say is that they wants to be famous and glamour, and to be different from other people so as to attract attention.
Imagine that you are in a place where the disease is still newly infected, there is nothing wrong to wear mask. However, wearing mask unneccesssarily can create tension and scare among the people around you!!! When there is no necessity to wear, you need not wear. And if you are so scare, please wear it all the time, only take off when you go back home.

Tutorials are killing me...argh

The days are back, with plenty of tutorials and assignments that needed to give attention for its datelines. wow, can't they just let me go?